11 February 2008

Deer me!

So, I was mindlessly cruising around the web, minding my own business, or rather, gawking at everyone else's business, and I run across something called "The Endless Forest". Instead of reading all the words in their prescribed order, I poke at the thing and notice a ruined castle getting mentioned, and Halloween, so I thought, "Here's an online game I might really enjoy right out-of-the-box."

The game is pretending to be a deer. You give them a name, and they twist your name into a symbol that begs a "artist formerly known as..." joke, but I'm not stooping that low today, because my back is acting up. I would play along with that, if you could talk to the other deer, but they don't allow English, because (and I'm vaguely paraphrasing) that would lead to slang and out-of-character behavior. Pardon me, but I wasn't auditioning for amateur dinner theater. I only want to do something interesting while trying to find someone to chat with, and Second Life has been making my video card overheat. Does anyone know how to open up a Sony laptop to remove the dust? I'm certain that's my problem.

Seriously, deer do, in my estimation, four things:
  1. eat vegetation.
  2. poop.
  3. fuck.
  4. get shot by rednecks.
That's not much of a game, really, or a least nothing I would play online. Some people (furries) would be really into #3, but normal people have seen enough of that shit on Wild Kingdom to last until Marlin Perkins rises from his grave to be Mutual of Omaha's zombie overlord.